Confused...

When will I ever forget him?

I thought before that when somebody else comes along, I'd be able to forget him. I'd stop missing him and wondering how he is. But now that someone has come knocking again at my heart's door, the more I think about my past love, my first love. Why? I am really confused.

I told myself before that now that I'm over him, it's ok to get in contact with him again. But a little voice inside tells me not to. I asked myself, why? I didn't have an answer to that question until just a few days after my most recent birthday. I should avoid anything that concerns him because in the end, no matter how hard I try not to, I'm the one who gets hurt. Why? Because I still love him. Maybe it's true for me, that old saying that first love never dies. Ok fine. He will always have a special place in my heart. But that doesn't mean I can't truly fall in love with someone else, does it?

"Lyko" is a nice guy. He actually possesses a lot of the qualities I am looking for in a guy and I like him. But will I ever love him? I still don't know. Time will only tell. So, does that mean I should give him a chance? For how long? I don't want to make him wait for a long time only for me to realize in the end that I can only love him as a friend.

Thinking about it, along with a lot of other issues in my life, gives me a headache. Maybe I shouldn't think much about it, just go with the flow and see where it takes me. I should also learn the fact that in the game of love, there is always the risk of people getting hurt including myself. It's never simple.

Love, love, love. When will you be coming again to make my heart beat faster? Make everything else around me and that special someone blurred and insignificant? Make me feel like floating amongst clouds? When, when, when? I hope you're on your way to me now once again. I really do...